A person who is considered emotionally intelligent is one who has an ability to synchronize his emotions, who is the one that can able to manage them effectively regardless of any situation…..

You might hear intelligence, we all know what is intelligence, but the question here is do you know about emotional intelligence at all? here is the answer….

When it comes to success or one wants to get achievement in any particular thing. People always give importance to the Intelligent Quotient. We think that the rate of success depends on a person’s Intelligence, the higher the IQ the more successful one can become. But you seriously need to stop fantasizing about these things and let’s talk about your emotions.

“Our emotions have a mind of their own, one which can hold views quite independently of our rational mind.”

Daniel Goleman (1995, p. 20)

No Separation of Mind and Emotion

I realized that there are many people who have above-average IQ but they are at a very low level of EQ. They don’t know how to simply regulate their emotions. For any kind of success just like IQ is important EQ is important too. Many people think that we are only allowed to talk about emotions is happiness. If you’re one of those people then you seriously need to check your emotional quotient because there are several other emotions you need to talk about as well.

Emotional Intelligence and Gender

Daniel Goleman wrote a book on emotional intelligence he describes both qualities of men and women who are high in emotional intelligence

Men who are high in emotional intelligence are confident, outgoing, and cheerful, they are not prone to fearfulness. They have a notable capacity for commitment to people, take responsibility for their actions, they are sympathetic and caring in their relationships. Their emotional life is rich but appropriate; they are comfortable with themselves, others, and the social environment they live in.

Emotionally intelligent women, by contrast, tend to be assertive and express their feelings directly, and feel positive about themselves; life holds meaning for them. Like the men, they are outgoing and sociable, and express their feelings appropriately (rather than, say, in outbursts they later regret); they adapt well to stress. Their confidence lets them easily reach out to new people; they are comfortable enough with themselves to be playful, spontaneous, and open to sensual experiences.

According to Daniel Goleman, there are five key elements of emotional intelligence. There are five ways that help you to increase your emotional intelligence.

Self Awareness

It is basically when you are aware of yourself. You know about your emotions. What are your feelings in a particular situation? What are your thoughts about it? How you react to certain circumstances. Your behavior is according to your values regardless of the situation.

Managing Emotions

When you have the ability, you can understand your feelings and your behavior and you can manage things surrounding you, regardless of what’s going on. You can’t pour out your extreme emotions on others. For example, if you are frustrated and you start to shout at others that is not self-regulation. You have control over your emotions.

Motivating Oneself

You have an ability to inspire yourself, you encourage yourself to achieve goals that you set for yourself. You are so focused on building yourself that it gives you the inner strength to achieve them regardless of any hurdles that come your way.


You have an ability to understand what other is going through. You can feel their pain and understand their problems. You put yourself in others’ shoes. Simply you are able to understand what the other person is suffering from.

Social Skills

When you know how to behave in front of people, and how to communicate with them by listening to them actively. You have an ability to interact with people effectively. You have respect for others. Disagreement arises in any situation but how you handle those things defines your social skills.

After reading the above five elements ask yourself how much of these elements are present in you. I can solve your problem by providing you with an emotional intelligence questionnaire. Fill out that questionnaire at the end of this article and tell me in the comment section how emotionally healthy you are. Also which area needs attention?

8 ways to improve your emotional intelligence

  • Keep a journal, record your observations and responses and get to know yourself.
  • Ask for feedback from others “Am I aware of what’s happening around me? Do I appear motivated? Am I empathic? What are my social skills like?
  • Take responsibility for things and stop blaming everyone around you.
  • Take things slowly and don’t react to everything, take a minute to think and breathe about things.
  • Practice seeing the good in things.
  • Put yourself in other people’s shoes.
  • Watch body language, and ask yourself “What does that posture mean?
  • Practice responding to emotions, whether you’re reading a book or watching the TV, take a second and think about how you would comfort, or support a person in need.

What is Emotional Intelligence from The School of Life

Leadership Toolkit For Emotional Intelligence

The Leadership Toolkit is a specialized handbook designed for professionals working in leading positions. There are 50 questions in the assessment that are answered on a 5-point scale, and the scores evaluate E.I. on the five dimensions – self-awareness, emotional regulation, self-motivation, empathy, and social skills.


  1. Goleman, D. (2008). Working with emotional intelligence. Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group.
  2. Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. New York, NY: Bantam Books.
  3. Channell. M. (2021, October 13). Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence In Leadership: How To Improve Motivation In Your Team. https://www.tsw.co.uk/authors/matthew-channell-profile/