Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that occurs in abusive relationships. It is an insidious and sometimes covert type of emotional abuse where the bully or abuser makes the target question their judgments and reality.
Gaslighting Is Self-Sabotage
You start questioning yourself, your dreams, your thinking, as well as your dreams and your desires. It has an effect on your self-confidence. You think that you don’t deserve to be happy in your life, you don’t deserve what you have in your life. When you gaslight yourself, you put a negative spin on your life but at the same time, you think things could always be worse or that it’s all in your head.
Signs You Are Gaslighting Yourself
- Minimize your own feelings.
- You start blaming yourself.
- You start doubting yourself.
- You become the worst critic.
- You start questioning yourself even your memory.
| Gaslighting | Self- Gaslighting |
| You are a very dramatic and sensitive person. | I am a dramatic and sensitive person. |
| I didn’t mean that you misinterpret it and now exaggerating it | Maybe they didn’t mean that I am exaggerating things. |
| You did that, it’s all your fault. | I am responsible for this, it’s all my fault. |
| If you love me then you do that. | I love them that’s why I should do that for them. |
| It’s all in your head and you are thinking about it way too much | Maybe it’s all in my head |
How to Prevent Gaslighting
Being subjected to gaslighting can cause anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns including addiction and thoughts of suicide.
Identify The Root Problem
First, you need the find the root cause of the problem, what is the basic issue that leads to this situation. For example, you are trying to impress your boss with your work and you try really really hard and didn’t get what you deserve so you start finding faults in yourself or it’s your group or something else. Recognize the problem and start working on it.
Affirm Your Emotions and Feelings
,” Martin said. “Repetition is key when it comes to challenging a self-gaslighting narrative. Repeat after me: ‘my emotions are valid and I have a right to express them.’ When you start practicing these phrases you thought that they were not working but with the passage of time, these phrases really start working for you remember that consistency is the key to success.
Start Writing A Journal
You should start giving importance to your emotions and your feelings. Start writing a journal about how you felt, and what were your emotions when you experienced something. Write them in your journal without judging yourself just write about them. It helps to affirm self-worth.
Focus On Self-Awareness
A person should start focusing on his/her awareness of self, including his traits, his emotions, and his feelings. One should give attention to himself. It is very important to care about your feelings, emotions, and thoughts and you need to understand them in order to make necessary changes in your behavior.
How To Kill The Thought
You can also use mindful awareness to identify thoughts and not respond to them,” Dr. Daramus says. “This takes practice, but you can say to yourself, ‘Oh, there’s that thought again,’ and turn your attention to something more important.”
Recognize the signs of self-doubt:
You need to Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. You should be aware of when you start to doubt yourself or your perceptions.
Set boundaries
- Communicate your needs and feelings to others
- Assert yourself if someone is trying to manipulate or gaslight you
Trust yourself
- Have confidence in your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions
- Practice trusting your own judgment
Practice Mindfullness
Being mindful and present in the moment can help you stay grounded and better able to trust your own experiences and perceptions.
Take Breaks
If you are feeling overwhelmed or unsure, it can be helpful to take a break and give yourself some time and space to recharge.
Seek out Positive Influences
Surround yourself with people, media, and activities that are uplifting and positive, rather than those that contribute to self-doubt.
Use Positive Self-Talk
Instead of criticizing or doubting yourself, try to use positive self-talk to boost your confidence and support yourself.
Seek out New Experiences
Trying new things and stepping outside of your comfort zone can help you build self-confidence and trust in yourself.
Conclusion
It is important to take care of your mental health and to avoid gaslighting yourself or doubting your own perceptions and experiences. Some techniques that can help you avoid gaslighting yourself include recognizing the signs of self-doubt, seeking outside confirmation, practicing self-care, building a strong support system, seeking professional help, setting boundaries, trusting yourself, learning about gaslighting, practicing mindfulness, taking breaks, seeking out positive influences, using positive self-talk, and seeking out new experiences. It is important to be kind and supportive towards yourself, and to trust in your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions.
References
- Breines J. (2012). Call me crazy: The subtle power of gaslighting. Berkeley Science.
- Christensen M, Evans‐Murray A. (2021). Gaslighting in nursing academia: A new or established covert form of bullying? Nurs Forum. doi:10.1111/nuf.12588
